I won't go too far back into my past,except to say I brought a lot of skills from my child hood into my adulthood you see I am third
eldest of six children born of alcoholic parents.Although I never
new my parents or my brothers and sister as I was placed into an orphanage at a very tender age where I spent all my adolescent
and teenage years.I spent 15yrs in these homes where I learnt
to hide my feelings of rejection and feeling that I was worthless
as I never knew why I was abandoned.I learnt fear and also felt fear,it was in these homes that I learnt to steal alcohol in the
middle of the night from the local bowling club and take it back
to the home where I would become statis symbol to the other
kids there,we would hide under our blankets sipping the booze
hoping not to get caught.
I think every kid has a dream of what he wants to be when he grows up and becomes an adult unfortunately I did'nt have any
real plans for my future.I was really getting into the alcohol
a lot before I turned 18 and my thinking was somewhat wayward.
I eventually left the homes and joined the circus where I carried on
drinking alcohol and roaming aimlessly around Australia never
really knowing where I was going or what I wanted from life
by now drugs became a part of my life and alcohol became
less full filling but the drugs just kept me up there.
I always felt that I was using drugs and I was in complete
control,just because family,wife and children had come and
gone .It was their fault not mine,I began to see over time that
I was losing friends,losing self respect as people were avoiding
me,and I was alone.Itwas at this point that I finally realised that
it was me,wow what a blow that was,especially to the ego.
I was finally introduced by a friend to n/a,all of a sudden my life
began to change not over night but gradually.I had periods of
clean time only to slip back as I felt that I would do the program my way or
no way.It was'nt untill I got fair dinkum with the program and
got myself a sponsor that I really started to feel
the benefits of this wonderful program of n/a.I began to gain
power over my thoughts of using and recieved from him the
experience,strength and hope and I want what he has to be
clean just one day at a time.I don't want to go back to where
I've been as I have so much today to be grateful for ,my family
my friends,my sponsor and to my family of n/a.Today I know
I am worth it and no-one can take away what I have without
me allowing it,it's mine.Today I am responsible.
 I was'nt using drugs,drugs were using me.
Thank you for reading my story and know that N/A works
 
Russell F.