Hi my name is David and I am a recovering addict and a proud
mender of
Narcotics Anonymous.
Yesterday December 17th I celebrated 10 years cleaned let
me tell u all its been a hard tough road to get here. My story isn't
much
different from most but I will tell it anyway for whomever has doubts
that NA
works.
First off I am 43 yrs old and grateful to be alive today. Not
so in the past.
I started using drugs around 12 yrs old my big brother turned me on
and i
thought it was so much fun getting stoned every day was a fricking
blast i had
no worries in the world when i was under the influence and after a
couple of
yrs of this way of life it started going way downhill i switched my
drugs from
just smoking pot and drinking to smoking PCP and boy did i go straight
to hell
from then on there wasn't a moment of a day or night that i was not
wasted,
constantly falling down thinking i was Joe cool not relizing i was
just a fool
in disguise.
When i turned 17 and got out of high school i think dumber than when
i went in
lol, I was in pretty fair health and then one day in June of 73 , my
whole
world changed i got suddenly severely ill i had a blood clot
in my leg and
one in my lung and i was put into the hospital for 14 days and it was
hell
cause i couldn't get high all that time and thetas all I could think
about, I
didn't care if I died the next day all I cared about was getting stoned
out of
my mind so I wouldn't have to feel anything and thetas exactly what
I did when
I finally got home. So yr. after yr. my health deteriorated and i just
kept
plucking down cash to get high and i didn't care where i got the money
whether
i stole it from my mom or robbed an old lady on the street, it didn't
matter,
i thought i was invincible that i would never get caught stealingand
i didn't
for a very long time, then when i was about 26 i robbed the board and
care
where I was living and tried to burn it down all under the influence
of PCP, I
got caught and I went to prison for 2 yrs and let me tell u I was scared
shitless the whole time I was there, I am a big man 6'5" so nobody
ever
bothered me in there but I was without my drugs I was defenseless.
I was like
that little child when I was growing wanting but not getting, cause
we
couldn't afford it or something. You would think that t prison would
scare u
straight but all i could think of when i got out was using and when
i did i
did head straight for the drugs and alcohol, I forgot to mention that
alcohol
was my very best friend and all it ever did for me was make me fall
down,
anyway i got out of prison used drugs got caught and was sent back
for a year,
except this time they sent me to a different prison because of my health
problems. Now that place was a rude awakening there were people there
never
getting out of prison and have spent 20 30 yrs there, I thought to
myself hey
I dot want to live like this for the rest of my life in and out of
prison to
the curb and back again to jail what a hell of an existence. I start
thinking
about getting my life straightened out and when I was released I went
right
back to drinking and smoking pot never got back to PCP cause I know
if I did I
wouldn't be sitting here right now typing this letter I would either
be in
prison or dead. I used for a couple of weeks and then I told my parole
officer
that I had a problem with drugs and alcohol, he said he new it and
was waiting
for me to reach out and ask for help. He helped me find a recovery
house so I
could learn how not to use and teach me a better way of life,
well I got
kicked out of that recovery house after 100 days clean, I was caught
having
sex with another client and we were both kicked out right then. I went
up to
my room and gathered a few things and left telling em all to f----k
off. I dot
know what happened to me in that 100 days but after I left the place
the first
thing on my mind was not using any ways , 3 weeks after leaving that
place
still clean mind u I hooked up with Narcotics Anonymous and the rest
ishistory.
I went to countless meetings the first 2 yrs spreading my experience
strength
and hope for any body newer than I. I was jazzed about staying clean
i finally
found my home a place where i could lay my hat down and sit back and
participate or listen and now i have come this far in my recovery,
I have
major problems with comprehension so i chose not to sponsor any one
but i am
here for one everyone today who seeks out NA and grasps hold and not
lets go.
Today I am happy, joyous, and free.
My name is David M. from California and i am a grateful recovering
addict and
proud to belong to Narcotics Anonymous